Last night I saw The Vagina Monologues in Burnley courtesy of my boyfriend who spotted it was playing in his home town. For those of you that haven’t seen the play, Eve Ensler wrote the first draft of the monologues in 1996 (there have been several revisions since) following interviews she conducted with 200 women about their views on sex, relationships, and violence against women. It was very funny and also very moving in places (and yes, he really enjoyed it too). What has that got to do with peak performance you may be thinking?
Much of the play was about what is unsaid by women about their vaginas and it got me thinking about what is often unsaid by employees about their workplaces and bosses. One monologue was about a 72 year old woman who had never had any sexual relationships because of an embarrassing incident that happened the first time she kissed.
I wonder how many people are missing out on what they would love to do because of some embarrassing incident or fear of embarrassment?
In my years of deep one-to-one coaching work that I was constantly amazed at how people would want one thing and yet do another.
Who do you manage or work alongside that you reckon has much more potential then they work to? In some ways human beings are so complex, yet so simple at the same time…
What if they have lots of ideas about how to improve productivity or customer satisfaction that they don’t speak up about?
What if they know they are in the wrong job but are too afraid to do anything about it?
What if they don’t really know why they’re doing what they’re doing and so it has no meaning for them?
Do yourself and your business a favour, get to know the people you work with personally, your employees, your peers, even your suppliers. I don’t mean become their shrink or counsellor. Simply get to know who they are as a person, have a cuppa or lunch together. Share a bit of yourself, be human. Compliment them. Genuinely. On something they have done or a character trait that you appreciate in them that makes your job easier.
That 72 year old never had shared her experience before and in fact, it sounded like she never really connected the fact that she had a bad experience and then avoided relationships. Sometimes all it takes is for somebody to ask a question. I wonder what would have happened if she had been asked those questions when she was in her 30s or 40s?
Why not do it and see what happens (and comment below with your results).